Survivor: Justice League Unlimited Edition
by Bella163327
Summary: Have you ever wondered who was the best of all the Leaguers? Well now you can find out. WELCOME TO SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION Vote who should be eliminated by review or pm!
1. Let the Games Begin

_**KK this is an interactive story people you vote I eliminate, understand? You vote in PM and reviews. This story is dedicated to HyperSammy22. His story 'Which Organization XIII member is the best' helped me a whole bunch so go check it out alright THANKS. **_

"Hello boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen let me introduce your new favorite show," said the Joker manically as he had magically appeared on America's television screens…. again. "No don't go calling the police now or the Justice League either. Do you want to tell America why they can't Harley, my dear?"

"Of course Mistah J," said Harley with a fanatical gleam in her eye "Because for once this is all perfectly legal."

"You heard the pretty lady boys and girls. I, the Clown Prince of Crime am doing something legal, in fact the Justice League even agreed," cackled the Joker "I'll even show you!"

Then the televisions jumped to another scene time stamped at least three months prior. The Justice League was sitting in the original seven's meeting room.

"We have certain issues to discuss," said Superman as he brought the meeting to order.

"Of course we do," said Green Lantern "Like the fact that public opinion is still low,"

"Or that you're still dating that model bimbo," said Wonder Women under breath but obviously no one in the meeting heard her, though Batman did look less stoic then before.

"People still don't see us as people," said J'onn who had returned after the whole Darkseid/Luthor debacle though now he spends all his time with his wife.

"I know," said Flash his mouth stuffed with food as always "We should have a Survivor-type thing we will get embarrassed and what not, they'll see us as people then."

The video then cut off.

"You see, kiddies? They agreed I'm just complying with their demands. Welcome to Survivor: JLU Edition" at this the Joker burst into another round of giggles.

Meanwhile the heroes were watching Joker's broadcast in a locked metal room and were all glaring at Flash, Well everyone but Superman for some reason

"What?' he said "It was just a suggestion, how was I supposed to know a crazed psychopath was watching."

Then he noticed a note on the ground it said

_**Dear Heroes,**_

_**This is perfectly legal and that video documents your consent…I also have your signatures so haha you're in whether or not you agree.**_

_**Insanely Yours,**_

_**Joker**_

_**P.S That means you too Batsy**_

_**P.P.S When I call your name walk out the door**_

"How did that freak get our signatures," said Shayera but before she could finish, Batman cut her off "He has our signatures, which means somewhere we all agreed to this, which means we have to participate."

Then the broadcast caught their attention again.

"Now you have to introduce the contestants in the game Mistah J," said Harley, the heroes stood -up as the metal door to their prison began to open.

"First we have Stupid- I mean Superman who has the power of flight, super-strength, x-ray vision, heat-vision, laser vision, frost breath…How many powers do you have? Big Blue Boy Scout has saved the world way to many times but still doesn't realize his underwear goes under his pants" said the Joker as Superman walked out the door into the Island where the competition was happening.

"Next we have Wondy….Also known as Wonder Woman, quite beautiful I must say, she has the power of flight, impressive strength and yields the Lasso of Truth," said Joker staring creepily at the Amazon while Harley looked at him sourly. Wonder Woman paid the clown no mind and went to stand next to Superman.

"Next we have Batsy, my lovely nemesis. No actual super power to speak of though he has saved the world from me more times than Stupidman has blamed something on Luthor so he must be pretty good." During his intro, Batman's facial expression didn't move an inch.

"Fourthly, is that a word? HARLEY! Go look it up," said Joker "We have Hawkgirl or Shayera Hol whatever it is she's calling herself these days. Powers well she s has wings and looks like an angel…but most definitely isn't one she has a mace made of Nth metal and isn't afraid to use it." When Joker called her an angel Shayera sniffed and flew over to Diana muttering under her breath the whole time.

"Next we have Green Lantern AKA John Stewart who is former military as he is so fond of bragging, this also the man that doesn't know how to make up his mind and is still dating a bimbo when an angel," at this Harley began to giggle and Joker winked conspiratorially "is ready and available." John's cheeks darkened and he went to stand as far from Shayera as he could get.

"The Martian Manhunter has returned to the Justice League it seems, though I really wish he would explain his name how is 'Manhunter' conductive in helping humans, but it's his choice I'm just the host," Joker began cackling again.

"To finish up the original seven we have Flash, the only one with a sense of humor, which means he's the only one I actually like out of these Super Friends," said the Joker cackling even more than usual. "Did you know my viewers that this show was originally supposed to be the first sevensies, but then Harley came to me she said you can't have Survivor with only seven people so I added more," said Joker "Take it away Harls!"

"Alright Mistah J, first we have Green Arrow, he doesn't understand that REAL ARROWS HURT MORE," said Harley in a high pitched voice.

"Next we have his lady love Black Canary," interrupted Joker "Who is a pretty little bird, nice legs and hair but her voice is what you want to worry about."

"A familiar Gothamite face, the raven-haired illusionist Zantanna," said Harley trying to get back into the spot light.

"Next we have another Gotham native Huntress who isn't even in the League but since when have we ever followed the rules Mistah J," giggled Harley.

"Next contestant is certainly an enigma, no literally he's the Question we have no idea what else to call him he has no face, the only question is how he scored a girlfriend as hot as Huntress," said the harlequin when she had regained her composure.

"Last and certainly the least we have Aquaman, who is the most useless person ever actually," said Joker manically.

"Now that you know the contestants," said The Joker "Let the games begin!"


	2. YOU'RE USELESS!

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls to Survivor: Justice League Unlimited Edition, I'm your host Joker," announced the Joker the next day.

"I'm your Co-Host Harley Quinn," shrieked Harley

"We have split our contestants in to two teams," continued the Joker "Mostly because I've always wanted to them fight each other…Why don't you explain how we split them Harls?"

"Of course Mistah J, yesterday folks we put them through a special personality quiz that I made up," said Harley proudly "Out poured the perfect teams, if I do say so myself!"

**Harley's Confessional**

"**I am actually qualified to do that, I used to be a psychologist, until I met my muffin Mistah J."**

"The teams, my dear audience, are Batsy, Big Blue Boyscout, Fish Boy, Angel, Birdie and Non-Leaguer versus Faceless, Usaine Bolt, Mr. Military, Marvin, Her Majesty, Houdini and Robin Hood," said the Joker laughing… once again.

The heroes moved in to their teams.

**Batman's Confessional**

"**Great I'm stuck Kent and Aquaman," said Batman "At least; Kent's powers can actually do something…"**

**Green Lantern's Confessional**

"**At least I'm away from Shayera," said GL "Mari would kill me if I was near her." **

"**You realize your girlfriend is a controlling bimbo, right?" said the cameraman.**

"Today we have a two-part challenge," said the Joker "The first is dodge ball, and I give you thirty second to get ready. Sound the bell Harley!"

Then the game began, and well it was a massacre. Team 2 had a clear advantage.

A: Flash gathered up all the balls before anyone could blink.

B: J'onn can phase through stuff thus he can't get hit.

Also Zantanna could make balls follow you around until the hit you and Green Arrow had special trick arrows that turned into dodge balls.

Team 1 lost horribly… Aquaman got hit first and accidently took Superman with him. One of the balls got stuck in Hawkgirl's mace and when she electrified it, Joker disqualified her for "harm of equipment." Batman, Huntress and Black Canary lasted for a bit but then Canary was distracted by Green Arrow and a ball caught the edge of her foot.

The last lost was the most heart breaking, John threw one ball it hit Huntress who was too busy flirting with Q to notice it coming, Batman dove valiantly trying to catch the ball but at last moment the ball moved out of his reach, almost as if by magic.

It was magic; Zantanna had moved the ball at the last second.

**Zantanna's Confessional**

"**I couldn't let them win," she said earnestly "Especially not Bruce, he would never let me live it down. Now he's going to kill me for making him look bad in front of Diana."**

"Alright now kiddies after that horrible display of skills by Batsy's team we move on to our next challenge 'Capture the Flag'!" said Joker

"What these heroes have to do, Mistah J, is run across to the other side and capture the flag," explained Harley Quinn "They have three minutes in their bases to plan."

**Team 2's base**

"Flash, get the flag," said Question "If he somehow gets caught J'onn you phase through the ground and get the flag, everyone else defense."

They nodded at Q; he was the best tactician out off all of them, including GL.

**Team 1's base**

"We need a distraction," said Shayera "I nominate Aquaman."

"Why do I have to do it?" asked Aquaman "Why can't Canary or Huntress do it?"

"Because I like them," explained Shayera

"Superman?" tried Aquaman

"Because he can fly and isn't useless," said Shayera

"Why can't Batman do it? He doesn't have powers," said Aquaman obviously fishing (lol get it)

"Because," said Batman without a hint of a smile "I'm Batman."

"START!" yelled Harley and the game began.

The game went exactly the way Question had foreseen.

Superman who was guarding the flag did end up stopping Flash, Team 1 was spared that humiliation again, however Superman was so excited about that he didn't even notice J'onn phase the flag away.

Team 2 had gotten Aquaman the moment he had stepped over the line.

As soon as J'onn rematerialized on his side a large gong sounded.

"TEAM 2 WINS AGAIN," yelled Joker into his megaphone "SEE YOU AT THE ELIMINATION BATSY!"

**Batman's Confessional**

"**I blame Kent."**

**Superman's Confessional**

**The Kryptonion was…sobbing "I'M SORRY OKAY!" he yelled.**

That night at the beach on the Island, Team 2 had gathered to say goodbye to one of their own. It was a somber occasion. Superman was watching Aquaman frolic in the water, Huntress and Black Canary were gossiping about their boyfriends while Shayera eavesdropped creepily. Then Joker and Harley arrived on a motorcycle with an envelope in Harley's hand.

"Well Team 1," began the Joker "You lost the challenges today which means one of you will be going home tonight. Drumroll please Harley!"

Harley started playing the bongos that she had found somewhere.

"BIG BOY BLUE! You have been voted off by your team you get a minute to say goodbye!" said the Joker

Superman looked flabbergasted he only had one question "Why? I thought you would've chose Aquaman."

"Hey! Why me?" asked Aquaman.

"Because you're useless," replied Superman.

"You're too much of a threat," said Shayera.

"Ditto," replied Huntress and Canary.

"Hey, don't look at me, I voted for Batman," said Aquaman.

"Why?" asked everyone including the clowns.

"He wouldn't be the distraction," said Aquaman as he pouted like a five year old.

"Well I guess Aquaman is my only true friend on this team," lamented Superman "Why did you vote for me, Batman?"

"You're too nice," replied the dark knight before getting up and walking off.

With that adieu from his friend, Superman got onto the boat and sailed into the sunset hopefully back to Metropolis (The Joker is involved we have no idea where he's going.)

"There you have it folks, Stupidman has left the show hope you enjoyed," said the Joker.

"See you next time on Survivor: JLU Edition!" shrieked Harley.

_**(Vote on who you think should be eliminated next by sending me a private message,, or by review)**_


	3. NO POWERS

"Alright boys and girls it's that time again I'm The Joker," said well the Joker obviously.

"And I'm Harley Quinn," said his perpetually smiling companion.

"Welcome to Survivor: JLU Edition," they said together.

"Now last time we eliminated the boy scout because his team felt he was over powered and annoying," said the clown "And I'm inclined to agree."

"That's right Mistah J," said Harley "Remaining in the competition are,"

"Team 1 consisting of," the Joker began to rattle of names "Batsies, Fish boy, Angel, Italiana and Fishnets. Team 2 is Faceless, Road runner, the colonel, E.T, Her Majesty and Cupid."

The Leaguers filed out of their cabins, none looking particular happy though Team 2 seemed particularly displeased.

**Wonder Woman's Confessional**

**You might notice our group's obvious grumpiness, it's because a certain someone *cough* J'onn *cough*makes weird alien snoring noises in his stupid sleep. Not even Flash could sleep, and Flash can slept through anything.**

**J'onn J'onnz's Confessional**

**I don't know why everyone is mad at me, though for some reason they all have bags under their eyes…**

"Good now that you are all here Harley," the Joker kissed his smiling companion on the cheek; the Leaguers groaned they were not here to watch clown PDA "will explain today's challenge."

**Harley Quinn's Confessional**

**MISTAH J KISSED ME!**

"Alright today's challenge is an obstacle course," said the harlequin excitedly "It will includes landmines, swinging blades, a field of fire, a large rushing river…and so forth and so on, questions?"

The group looked about; even if anyone had had questions they weren't going to ask Harley Quinn she was certifiably insane.

"The point system works like this the winner gets twelve points, second place gets eleven until you are the loser with one point," explained Joker lucidly for once, but then he grinned manically "NO POWERS!"

**J'onn J'onnz's Confessional **

**I'm so screwed **

**Flash's Confessional**

**My team is so going to lose, the other teams is practically all non-powered. They have Bats for god's sake, he's practically poster boy for non-powered badassery.**

* * *

The leaguers were all standing at the starting line staring at Joker waiting for him to start. He stared back at them. They stared back at him. This went on for two minutes until…

"START!" yelled by a rather irate and bored Harley Quinn.

They were off Batman automatically pulled into the lead because this was practically his ordinary life anyway, surprisingly enough it was Wonder Women who quickly followed him.

**Wonder Woman's Confessional**

**I'm an Amazon which means I am perfectly capable without powers thank you very much.**

Next were Black Canary and Huntress who maintained an easy pace trying to see who could beat the other, all the while exchanging quips back and forth.

Following them doggedly were Question, Flash, Green Lantern and…Aquaman surprisingly enough guess he isn't completely useless.

Hawkgirl was having issues dodging everything without flying but once she found her rhythm she found herself catching up with the others.

Our mistress of magic however was having no such luck, Zantanna was an illusionist and without her magic she was just another assistant. Don't get her wrong she was still formidable just not compared to her competitors.

Much of the same was happening to one Oliver Queen but not because he was out of shape but simply because he hadn't gotten any sleep for the last week, the last two nights were because of J'onn's incessant alien snoring noises and the last three nights… he had been up with Dinah.

Heading up the rear J'onn poor J'onn had been absolutely crippled by the 'NO POWERS' rule. He was constantly using his powers in the field he couldn't seem to function without them. He slowly plodded along. Now the poor Martian would've been fine…but the he arrived at the fields of fire. Normally he would've just flown over the fire and continued on his way, but if there is one thing that could hurt a Martian was fire so instead he did the most logical thing. The Martian Manhunter curled up into a ball and began to cry.

Farther up on the race Green Lantern was getting sloppy; a few minutes ago he had started to slow down until even Aquaman had passed him, Aquaman for Oa's sake. All those French restaurants Mari had made him take her too probably. He had always gone on morning jogs with Shay-No he would not think about her. He was with Mari now.

Speak of the devil or rather angel here Hawkgirl came looking awkward running on two feet rather than soaring though the air. Then of course she passed him and dashed off without a backward glance hardly even acknowledging the former Marine.

**Shayera's Confessional **

**It was so fun to beat John that's what he gets for dating that toothpick.**

_***Meanwhile at the Finish Line***_

Batman and Wonder Women had finished ages ago; the two were simply waiting at the finish line for everyone else.

"No one will see Bruce," said Diana touching his arm.

"Princess may I remind you we are on national television," he said trying to remove her hand from his arm.

"Do you see any cameras around Bruce? No, so kiss me a congratulations," said Diana gesturing around

Bruce sighed but gave into her wish, the two had been dating secretly ever since the Luthor/Darkseid incident two years ago. No one knew except for Alfred Pennyworth, nothing gets by that man.

The two had just pulled back when they heard voices around the bend the separated quickly and began talking about something not couple-y.

When everyone had finally completed the race (Batman and Wonder Women had had to go collect J'onn) the Joker and Harley had written down their scores on a chalk board.

Batman-12

Wonder Women-11

Huntress-10

Black Canary-9

Question-8

Hawkgirl-7

Flash-6

Aquaman-5

Green Lantern-4

Zantanna-3

Green Arrow-2

Martian Manhunter-1

"Look at that Harley," laughed Joker "Team 2 is on the chopping block today with thirty one points, losing to Batsy's team's forty three. See you at elimination!" then him and Harley rode off on a Harley Davidson.

On the Beach of Shame or so Joker had decided to call it, Team 2 waited patiently Green Arrow and Question were playing poker on a foldout table, Flash was flirting platonically with both Zantanna and Wonder Women, Green Lantern was on his cell phone assumingly talking to Mari cause she practically controlled his life now and J'onn was still scarred by the fire and was staring across the ocean.

There was a flash of smoke and so appeared Harley and the Joker. Everyone was done questioning their odd entrances.

"Alright super friends today's eliminee is…," started Joker

"J'ONN J'ONNZ!" continued Harley in a high pitched squeal.

Instead acting upset like most people would expect, the Martian thanked them all vigorously then practically ran onto the boat which sailed off into the sunset.

**J'onn J'onnz's Confessional**

**I'M AWAY FROM THE FIRE! I'M AWAY FROM THE FIRE!**

"I just wanted to get rid of the snoring," said Green Arrow

"Well there goes Marvin," said the Joker "Until next time on,"

"SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION" yelled both clowns in unison.

_(Vote on who you think should be eliminated next by sending me a private messageor by review}_


	4. Up Close and Personal

"Welcome back to the one," said Joker.

"The only," interjected Harley.

"SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION!" the two clowns cheered in unison.

The contestants didn't look as pleased as the two hosts, in fact most of them were downright unhappy even Flash looked upset…

**Flash's Confessional**

**I had a romantic weekend with Linda planned instead I'm stuck on an island of couples: Huntress and Question, GA and Canary, Shay and GL's obvious tension, Diana and Bats (they think they are so sneaky). Even the crazy clowns are together I'm stuck in the same boat as Aquaman…AQUAMAN!**

"Now heroes you look a little glum today, in fact a little lonely perhaps," said the Joker "Well good because the next challenge has you up close and personal!"

"That's right Mistah J," continued Harley "Today's challenge is we stick you in room for half an hour with someone, if you snap and try to kill them then you lose!"

"That's right kiddies," said her companion "Let me introduce you to your new bestie Blondie Hood and Slendy," the two men exchanged a glance this wouldn't be too hard.

"Mafia Princess and other Blondie," the two women nodded confidently this would be easy.

"Lightning McQueen and Dory," Flash shrugged could be worse.

"Her Majesty and the knight because the tension amuses me," the two remained perfectly stoic but when no one was looking Bruce winked at Diana.

"My personal favorite is however Mace girl and Gollum," the clearing was perfectly silent they knew that this would an interesting pairing to watch. Seeing as Shayera had stopped talking to GL after he had chosen Mari over her.

**Hawkgirl's Confessional **

**I can't believe that freakin' clown to have the audacity to stick me with that bastard I'm going to kill him! **

At this point Shayera began shrieking in Thanagarian and the cameraman had to run away because he feared for his personal safety.

**Green Lantern's Confessional**

**I'm a dead man; Mari is going to kill me…if Hawkgirl doesn't get there first. I had one thing to do stay away from Shayera that what I was supposed to do and look what happened…I'm dead so dead dead dead dead (he went on like that for a good fifteen minutes.)**

**Zantanna's Confessional**

**My name didn't get called….**

Everyone was about to go to their respective rooms except for Zantanna until…

"Wait a second dear heroes I'm not done we still have our lovely assistant left and seeing as none of you goody two shoes are left, she's stuck with **my **lovely assistant…Here's Harley!" and the Ace of Knaves dissolved into crazy laughter.

**Zantanna's Confessional**

**Great just great…I'm stuck with Harley Quinn, Maiden of Mischief, The Clown Princess, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, the ex-psychiatrist who fell in love with the Joker. I'm never going to survive…**

"That's right Puddin'!" said the harlequin obviously ignorant to Zantanna discomfort "We're going to have so much fun!"

Having somewhat recovered from his laugh attack the Joker continued "Now that's settled here we go!"

_***Five minutes in***_

**Green Arrow and Question's room**

The two men were sitting on the ground playing poker because carried around cards and poker chips in his trench coat pocket. In this room so far so good, Q was winning.

**Black Canary and Huntress' room**

The two women were sparring, strictly non-lethal hits so they wouldn't be kicked out for trying to kill each other.

**Flash and Aquaman's room**

This room was a strange sight. Flash was lying on the ground with Aquaman sitting beside him with a notebook.

"You see Doc, can I call you Doc, being on this Island with all these couple it's just too much!" said Flash

"I see," said Aquaman writing it down in his notebook. It seemed that Aquaman was pretending to be the fastest man alive's therapist. This should end well.

**Batman and Wonder Women's room**

To Joker's disappointment nothing special was happening it seemed that Wonder Women was teaching Batman ancient Greek.

**Hawkgirl and Green Lantern's room**

Things in this room were not going well; in fact a very loud screaming match had erupted.

"YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE DESTINY'S PUPPET WHAT TYPE OF PATHETIC EXCUSE WAS THAT!"

"REALLY WHAT ABOUT CARTER HALL! WHAT ABOUT HIM!"

"YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE YOU BA-"

It wasn't pretty but no one had tried bodily harm…yet.

**Zantanna and Harley's room**

In this room Harley was chattering at top speed about just about everything "there was this one day Mistah J and I robed the zoo and I got take a tiger home…" and it on like that for a while.

Zantanna was sitting on the other side of the room, curled up in a ball muttering to herself "I'm in hell, this is hell."

So far so good no one had attempted lethal harm.

_***Fifteen minutes in* **_

**GA and Q's room**

The boys were still playing poker, though as Green Arrow started to hand more poker chips over to Question he looked a tad upset.

**Black Canary and Huntress' room**

The two women were still sparring and teasing each other the entire time. All was well here.

**Flash and Aquaman's room**

The situation of last time had been reversed, Flash was the therapist Aquaman the patient.

"It's just I miss them a lot you know," said Aquaman

"I understand," said Flash then added hastily "Not the kid part though I do not have a kid. No sir, not me."

**Batman and Wonder Woman's Room**

_*Fzzzzpt* _When Joker attempted to get a visual on their room all he got was the 'NO SIGNAL' screen. "WHY CANT I GET A VISUAL!" screamed the Joker, showing his homicidal side.

"Um Mister Joker sir," the cameraman spoke up "It seems that the cameras were taken out by a laser pointer.

"WHO LET BATSY TAKE HIS UTILITY BELT IN?!"

**Hawkgirl and GL's room**

The screaming match continued.

"I'M WITH MARI NOW I LOVE HER!"

"YES YOU 'LOVE' HER! DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL YOUR 'SECRET' GLANCES AT ME!"

**Zantanna and Harley's room**

Harley was still chattering she hadn't even stopped for breath. Zantanna was good to just ignore the clown until this happened "After we're down with the contest maybe you could come shopping with me and Red, we could get you a new outfit, cause you seriously need one."

"Did you, Harley Quinn, just insult my OUTFIT!" and then Zantanna lunged for her throat.

The Joker was jubilant "CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT! Looks like we have a loser minus one point for Team 2 Zantanna is out."

_***Twenty-Six minutes in***_

**GA and Q's room**

The atmosphere in the room was tense as Q won his third hand and GA grumbled under his breath but violence wasn't on the agenda so far.

**Black Canary and Huntress' room **

Just sparring, nothing special was happening.

**Flash and Aquaman's room**

Flash was still playing Aquaman's therapist "And how does that he make you feel?" he asked

"Well to be honest kind of useless Doc," said Aquaman.

"But you are useless," said Flash blankly.

Then Aquaman snapped

"I'M NOT USELESS; I'M THE KING OF ATLANTIS, I CUT OFF MY OWN HAND TO SAVE MY CHILD'S LIFE, and I DEFEATED MY BROTHER! I AM NOT USELESS!" and then he tried to stab Flash with his hook.

"HAHA!" laughed the Joker "minus one for Team 1!"

**Batman and Wonder Women's room**

NO SIGNAL *FZZZPT*

Meanwhile in the room Bruce and Diana were laughing their heads off.

This is the most fun I've had in years Princess," said Bruce as he held up the scream where they had set up a secret camera in John and Shayera's room "Great idea."

"I told you watching them would be fun," said Diana "thank you for disabling the cameras."

"Why?" he asked

"Because I can do this," and then she leaned over to kiss him.

**Hawkgirl and GL's room**

"FACE IT YOU STILLL LOVE ME JOHN STEWART!"

"FINE I DO SHAYERA HOL! ARE YOU HAPPY?!"

Then John realized what he just said… to cover it up he lunged at Shayera.

"I knew it you owe me money Penguin! After that confession the solider attacks the angel… not the best move but okay. Now it's minus two for Team 2!"

_***Twenty-nine minutes and thirty seconds in***_

**GA and Q's room**

"DAMN IT Q! HOW THE HELL IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO WIN AGAINST YOU! IF WE CANT SEE YOUR DAMN FACE!" said Green Arrow he had just lost two thousand dollars to the man.

Q sat there smugly, that was the last straw for Green Arrow with one second remaining the millionaire lunged at the faceless man's throat.

_***DING* **_"Alright heroes that means times up," said the Joker "Team 2 at minus three points see you at elimination!"

* * *

Later that day Team 2 had gathered at the Beach of Shame. Question was counting his winnings from the poker game, Flash and Wonder Woman were sipping iced mochas these three had nothing to worry about they had won. GL was stating at his cellphone nervously expecting a break up call from Mari any minute, Green Arrow was muttering about his stupidity, it was only two thousand bucks and Zantanna was biting her nails.

Suddenly Joker and Harley Quinn arrived on the beach from parachutes…once again the leaguers were done questioning the odd entrances.

"Team 2 Welcome to the Beach of Shame, tonight you say good bye to one of your own…" said the Joker in faux sad voice "HARLEY Drumroll please!"

The harlequin once again produced bongos from out of nowhere.

"Zantanna, you have been eliminated! See you back in Gotham!" said the Joker excitedly.

"We'll go shopping!" yelled Harley.

Zantanna smiled sadly she had been the first to crack she knew she was going to be eliminated. With a wistful "Bye guys," she sailed off into the sunset…hopefully back to Gotham.

"Say goodbye to those legs- I meant the mistress of magic," said Joker glancing anxiously at his companion.

"See ya next time on," said Harley

"SURVIVOR: JLU EDITION!" they yelled in unison.

**(Vote on who you think should be eliminated next by sending me a private messenger by review)**

**AN: Alright people its me Bella and not only do I want you to vote but while you are doing so give me your nicknames for our heroes because sadly i'm running out and beginning to re-use...so that would be super helpful remember I love my followers so any nicknames would be great Thanks!**

**-Bella**


	5. Justice League's Next Top Model!

"Come one, come all," yelled Joker.

"To the greatest show on Earth," continued Harley Quinn

"Survivor: JLU Edition!" said the clowns dissolving into giggles.

"We're back," continued Joker "and so are our contestants. We have remaining in team one The Dork Knight, Fisherman's Greatest Enemy, Pigeon Brain, Italian Legs and Marilyn Monroe."

"In team two," continued Harley "we have Conspiracy Nut, The Speeding Stupidity, Lamp Man, Wonder Toots and Peter Pan."

The Leaguers stood in their respective team rolling their eyes at the ridiculous nicknames that Joker gave them.

**Flash's Confessional**

**I thought the clown was supposed to like me…I'm the only one of us that can take a joke. I am not The Speeding Stupidity! **

"Your challenge today is..." said Joker drawing it out attempting to cause dramatic tension

Harley who didn't really care about dramatic tension shouted "A fashion show!"

Each Leaguers reaction was different Batman's regular glare turned even more deadly than before. Aquaman looked confused; apparently they didn't have those in Atlantis. Hawkgirl looked indifferent though she did clutch her mace more menacingly. Huntress and Black Canary looked at each other and smirked, they were both female Leaguers who loved makeovers but were still badass.

Team 2's reactions were also different Question didn't really react, not that anyone could tell anyway. Flash looked very excited in fact probably too excited. Green Lantern had the familiar look of male panic on his face. Wonder Woman groaned her entire team was male...they were doomed. Green Arrow was surprisingly calm he must spend enough time at beauty pageants being multi-millionaire and all.

"That's right heroes," continued Joker "It's time to embrace your inner pageant girl! The rules to this competition are firstly you must have one female and one male model."

"Secondly," said Harley "You have half an hour to complete your models' looks."

"Thirdly," said Joker "All judges' decisions are final…On that note we should introduce you to our judges. First we have Vixen of Vines, Mistress of Plants, and the ever fashionable Poison Ivy."

With that introduction a giant rose sprouted from the ground and out stepped the villainess.

"Hey Red," yelled Harley excitedly

Poison Ivy smiled briefly "Hey Harls," the smile disappeared when she addressed the Joker "Joker."

**Harley's Confessional**

**I'm so excited to see Red again it's been way to long...the show and Mistah J have been taking up too much of my time. I hope her and Puddin' don't get into a fight again though. **

"Next judge is a familiar face to any Gothamite our feline of fashion Miss Selina Kyle!" continued Harley excitedly; she was excited that her best friend had joined them on the island.

**Batman's Confessional**

**Dammit Catwoman is here on the Island with Diana. Selina knows we're over. Diana knows Selina and I are over. I should be fine, I should be fine. **

Wonder Woman's eyes narrowed as she saw the newcomer, she was well informed about Bruce's former relationship with that women.

**Wonder Woman's Confessional**

**I hate Selina Kyle and everything about her. Bruce better remember who he's dating or else...**

"Always good to mess with Batsy!" cackled the Joker "Now for our next judge a wild animal, an award winning model Justice League's own Vixen!"

There was complete silence in the clearing everyone was looking at either Shayera or Green Lantern everyone had heard about the particular nasty break up.

_*Flashback*_

_Lantern had been in a state of constant fear after his confession to Shayera earlier that day. He wasn't avoiding talking to Mari exactly but he wasn't actively seeking it out either. Pretty much he was sitting on the beach waiting for her to call, and call she did._

_He jumped when his phone rang, but steeled his nerves and answered the phone._

_"John Stewart speaking," he answered just like it was anyone else._

_"Don't give me that John I watched the broadcast," said Mari coldly "I have one question John. Why?" _

_"I don't know Mari, I tried hard to love you, I tried hard not to be destiny's puppet but I couldn't I'm so sorry," explained John._

_"You're sorry!" Mari yelled into the line "You're sorry you couldn't use me to get over your Thanagarian traitor bitch! _

_John knew he deserved Mari's abuse but to call Shayera a traitor was too far for John._

"_Face it Mari, you never cared about me anyway," said John "All you cared about was having an attractive man on your arm to help your image. Suck it up Mari you never loved me stop acting like I've broken your heart. If I ever hear you insult Shayera again Mari…"_

"_I'm done with you, you bastard! Have fun with your hawk!" she screeched and hung up._

_*End Flashback*_

When Vixen walked in everyone was holding their breath expecting something but instead she completely ignored Green Lantern and Hawkgirl and went to stand next her fellow judges albeit still keeping a safe distance, these were criminals after all.

"Alright Leaguers," said Joker thrilled he'd created drama and tension "In each team we need two models one male one female…You can chose who's who, theme evening wear. Is that all Harley girl?"

"That's all Puddin'!" said Harley Quinn "You've got an hour!"

* * *

**Team 1**

"First," said Canary "Who are our models?"

She and Huntress were taking control for this challenge.

"I nominate Batman for our male model," said Huntress "Though he'd have to forego the co-"

"No," said the Caped Crusader flatly.

"Didn't think so," said Huntress "So that makes you in charge of Aquaman's preparation. Be gone!"

**Batman's Confessional**

**Thank goodness Alfred makes me pay attention to style…I'll have a lot of work cut out for me though…**

Once the men were gone both Canary and Huntress turned on Shayera.

"What are you looking at," she asked "What?! No! No, no, no, no, no, no! I will not be the model."

"Oh come on," said Huntress "Vixen is a judge."

"Please," plead Black Canary "I want to see you wow her and Lantern!"

To this Shayera would have no idea why she said yes, but she was glad she did.

**Team 2**

"Who wants to be the model?" asked Wonder Woman

Two hands were raised and they weren't unexpected, it was Flash and Green Arrow.

"Alright good then we vote," said Question "It will take up less time."

Vote they did, Green Arrow coming out victorious.

"Nothing personal kid," said Green Lantern "He just has more experience with this sort of thing."

"At least Diana voted for me," muttered Flash "Wonder Woman thinks I'm attractive take that, Pshaw experience."

At the end of the hour the teams gathered in in the amphitheater that had somehow appeared where the clearing had been earlier…They all gathered in the audience except for the models who were already back stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen thank you coming," said the Joker as he spoke into the microphone that was up on stage.

"As if we had much of a choice," muttered Flash.

"Our first model, the one the only Wonder Woman," said Joker as the Amazon walked on stage.

Diana was dress in a floor length, strapless scarlet dress and red peep toe stilettos. Batman was impressed to say the least.

Batman's Confessional

**Diana? Wow! She looks…just wow, absolutely gorgeous, categorically stunning. I don't even know…**

Instead of clashing Diana's silver bracelets helped bring out the silver flecks in her dress. The Amazon was drop dead gorgeous not even Joker could find a way to mock her.

"Stunning," said Poison Ivy reluctantly as she held up an eight she didn't really want to be there she'd done it as a favor to Harley.

"Boyfriend stealer, Wonder Slut" said Catwoman as she held up a four.

The only thing that kept Diana from pummeling the cat burglar was the look of pure admiration that had been on Bruce's face when she'd stepped on stage.

"That's absolutely beautiful Diana," said Vixen holding up a nine, completely missing the grimace on the Amazon's face. Although Diana and Shayera had had their differences, Diana had never liked Vixen.

"NEXT!" yelled Joker after Harley hit him and he stopped ogling the princess.

Out stepped Shayera and was she beautiful, actually beautiful didn't even begin to describe to Hawkgirl.

Her red hair was accented by the deep green colour of her dress, the dress stopped mid-thigh and the golden heels made her legs seems never-ending considering her rather short stature. Everyone was in awe; they'd never seen the militant Hawkgirl in a dress, much less makeup. Out of all the reactions in the hall the best however was Green Lantern's.

The former Marine had fainted dead away.

"Lovely," said Ivy grudgingly holding up a ten "Nice shade of green."

"Nice sparkle," said Catwoman gesturing at the shoes and holding up a ten.

While the other judges' scores had been honest Vixen was having none of it. All Vixen saw in front of her was the 'filthy hawk' that had stolen her boyfriend.

"You don't deserve those," began the model acidly "You look like the slut you are, In fact all you are worth is measly little one!"

The entire amphitheater was silent; no one quite knew how to react.

It was a very awkward silence.

"Well let's move on to the men, can't wait to see what they cooked up!" said Joker.

First Green Arrow on and he was well dressed. His light grey slacks matched his grey sports jacket perfectly. His button-down shirt was a deep green that was the same colour as his costume. In fact his outfit was classic Oliver Queen albeit the addition of his mask.

"Eight," barked out Ivy she hated men.

"Nine," said Catwoman winking (she was trying the jealousy game) "I like a man in a suit."

**Black Canary' Confessional**

**She's flirting with Ollie now? She must really have liked Batman…**

**Wonder Woman's Confessional**

**She's desperate.**

Vixen gave him a seven without talking which everyone seemed to appreciate.

Next walked out Aquaman and everyone was shocked though none more so than Batman. Aquaman was wearing a bright orange and blue plaid shirt, Bermuda short and sandals with…socks.

Everyone looked at Batman incredulous he replied in flat voice "I gave him a dark blue shirt with black slacks and sunglasses, if he doesn't want to listen it's not my fault."

The judges looked astonished in fact they were actively avoiding looking directly at Aquaman.

"Zero," Ivy managed to squeak before disappearing once again in to her rose.

"One," said Selina before also fleeing.

"One," said Vixen before channeling a dolphin and jumping in the ocean.

"A surprise by Aquaman," cackled Joker "HARLEY! The points?"

"Forty-Five for Team 2, twenty-two for Team 1, Puddin'" said Harley

"TEAM 1 I'LL SEE YOU AT ELIMINATION!" yelled Joker

* * *

Later at the beach of shame everyone seemed reasonably calm; Batman was brooding, Black Canary, Huntress and Hawkgirl were bitching about Vixen while Aquaman was frolicking in the ocean.

Suddenly Joker and Harley appeared in a large cloud of smoke that caused everyone a humongous coughing fit.

"Alright team 1time to see who leaves!" said Joker

"You guys voted for…." said Harley.

"AQUAMAN!" yelled Joker "That's right Fish Boy time to go!"

Aquaman looked up from his frolicking and said "I'm glad to leave, no one respects me here anyway!" and then he dived into the water presumably back to Atlantis.

"Well there you have it folks," shrieked Harley

"See you next time," continued

"SURVIVOR: JLU EDUTION!" they yelled together.

**(Vote on who you think should be eliminated next by sending me a private messenger by review)**

**Any nickname ideas also, sorry for taking so long**

**This chapter is dedicated to my friend Michaelis who gave me the idea**

**-Bella**


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